Back to Square One.

My mind is running 90 to nothing. As it seems to be doing a lot lately. I keep thinking about where I want to be in the near future and what I want to be doing. I feel very lost in this big old world. Just like I have since i was very young. I see my self achieving so many great things.

I have faith in myself, but something comes over me and doesnt let me go. Its like the enemy wants me to fail. like he wants to see me fall everytime. Well doesnt he want to see everyone fall? Of course I know the answer is Yes. He seems to put those thoughts in my head. The thoughts that make me think 
I am too lost to be found. But am I really too lost to be found?
In those moments of darkness.. I always see a little bit of light no matter what. 
Its the Savior Jesus Christ. He is always beside me. Even in those moments of darkness he always keeps me safe. When I fail and fall he is always there with a smile and a hand to help me up again. 
Its like footprints in the sand. And I know no matter how strong I may look to people. There is only one set of footprints in that sand about 50% of the time. 
Utah. Family. Opertunity? Yes it all sounded wonderful. Amazing. My whole college would be paid for.. All for such a small task.. Someone once asked me the question. "When has doing something just for money ever actually worked out?" 
Well i think of it.. it really never works out. if you do things just because someone says they will give you a large amount of money in return. It usually never works out. I had to hear that question when it was way too late. I had already taken that chance. And of course it didnt work out. 
There was a conversation about how I dont have the money to leave and how I am stuck.. Well I was kindly reminded that I must remember the little things my mother taught me my whole life..
"There is always a way out. No matter what. You are never stuck. Dont ever forget that"

I may be at the bottom of the pit. in a hole that seems way way to high to climb out of. And at this very moment I should be crying. But for some reason my faith is stronger then it has been in so long.   And I see so much light and opertunity for myself. I have the world opened up to me again.
I havent had the energy, or the time, or the reason to shed one tear over this. 

Well now I have the world completely at my fingertips. The world is completely opened for me. I have so many choices I could ever want to make for myself. I can do anything that I want to with my life.
I am at those cross roads. I am exactly where I want to be right now.
I am right Back to Square One.