Much time has passed since the last time I have written. Many things in my life have changed. I see the world in a different picture. From a different angle. In good ways and in bad. Sad to say but I must confess that I have in a way fallen out of the hands of my lord god yet again. I get so caught up in this world that I put the things I have learned out of my mind and into a holding place until I feel it necessary to return to that truth.
After leaving Utah I felt as though I had completely lost that truth. The truth I have come to know in the past two years. And not what I have been told to believe. Going back to Arkansas resulted in turning right back around to my own way of life. Which I cant and wont complain with the decisions I have made.
Speaking of Arkansas.... I must sayy that it is a different place then how I left it. Just everything.. the scenery, the people, my friends, my workplace..the list could go on. About 3 months ago I returned. And truthfully I felt lost and alone. My family was all I had had for the 6 months prior to returning. I was not used to this way of living. From living on my own to being supported by family to going right back and living on my own again. It seemed like one big dream. Everyday was a blur. As day by day passed they all seemed to run together. I began to face the upset of missing my loving family and getting used to my new/old way of life.
Now my home back in Arkansas seems like the home I left it. I am still adjusting to the way of living and have yet to decide to stay in this small place. As for this very moment i am staying right where I am. I'm not exactly excited with the life I chose to live at the moment, but its my life. And as Ive said before, "I refuse to have any regrets. I want to be the old woman who is proud of what she has done in her life."
And that is precisely how its going to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment