Enough is Enough.

Does anyone really know when enough is enough? when do they really know when to say that it is enough??  Flat out enough... Surrender.. Hands in the air.. Throw the white flag in.. I give up..

You know.. I think everyone has that moment every once in a while. 

We make choices and sometimes they aren't the best choices. But we make them. And grow from every single one of them. 

I can't help but reflect on the past. Which I know I should watch for the future and what is coming towards me. It's hard to think of a life when you don't feel you have one. 

I think one of the hardest moments in my "life" was finding out who I am. 

Who am I? 

Who is this girl? 

Where is her "life" going? 

"Life"... what is that exactly? 

In my mind life is finding yourself first. Finding your life partner. And share the rest of your life with that person. And most important be happy. 

Well at this point i have found who i am.. yet i am still learning to love myself and sadly struggle with that daily..

In the depths of that Cera found love. A love that I thought was for the rest of my life. I was happier then I had ever been in my life. I have never opened myself up to anyone like that before. It was the first time in my life that I could say those three little words and actually mean it. To actually feel like those three little words ment something. It's hard to do that. To open up to someone and trust. And you know..My stupid mind came into play and messed it up. Ruined it. Lied. And sadly I am still regretting what I did. It makes me sad to know that I ruined something that could have been the happiness for the rest of my life. 

As humans we make mistakes. I know this. But the consequences make our minds eat us up on the inside. Rip ourselves apart in regret. How could I be so stupid?? Why would you do that? Why didn't you just tell the truth?? 

One hard thing is to forgive yourself. Forgive and forget. Cause the only person that your hurting is yourself. 

Yes these words are coming from my mind..but to actually do this is very difficult.  

This is a moment where i can say Enough is Enough Cera. It's time to forgive yourself. Show love and maybe it will find you again. Be patient. Be kind. As hard as that is to do. You have to do it. Show that you care. Be there for the one you love. As well as yourself. 

Enough. 

I know one day everything will fall into place. I know The Lord has his plan for me. I know that if I have Just a Little Bit of Faith..he will be there to guide me. 

This life is mine. And mine alone. Hopefully one day i can share my life with one person i love. Let the struggle be over. That's it Enough is Enough.